Simply put, I'm afraid.

Now I've been writing, and writing, and re-writing all about that fear, and how it feels, how it tastes, what it looks like, where in my mind it has taken residence, and what it is exactly that I'm afraid of.

But that's a whole lot of fear and not a lot of room for anything else.

And when I focus on my fears, I forget, sometimes, that I've had CF my entire life.

Twenty-four years of effort, and work, and hospital stays and surgeries and procedures, and complications, and I've gotten through every last bit of it.

I'm still breathing, albeit poorly, I'm still able to walk, I'm not on constant oxygen, and if I do end up on the operating table with a new set of lungs, then it will be a blessing unlike anything I've ever experienced. I'll be able to breathe.

And that's really nothing to be afraid of.

pros & cons;

A pro for a lung transplant: I could run a marathon.

A con: I'd have to actually train for said marathon.